


Why Didn't You Tell Me?

by Justine (Sanj)



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: First Times, M/M, None - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-10
Updated: 2013-05-10
Packaged: 2017-12-11 04:18:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/793889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sanj/pseuds/Justine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My response to the "Ideal Script" discussion on Senad.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Why Didn't You Tell Me?

**Author's Note:**

> Last week on "The Sentinel," we found out What Else Jim has been repressing. Blair offered only acceptance. Plus a kiss that curled the toes of Middle America and made the cover of TV Guide.   
>  The following scene takes place after we meet this week's malfeasants, and Simon has already bellowed "somebody get me Ellison!"

## Why Didn't You Tell Me?

by Justine

Author's webpage: <http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Studio/3603/justine.html>

Author's disclaimer: Not mine, never were, please don't sue 'cos I'm not making money.

* * *
    
    
                             [Why Didn't You Tell Me?]
                                    [by Justine]
    
                  an answer to the Senad "ideal script" discussion
    
         [Last week on "The Sentinel," we found out What Else Jim has been
    
         repressing. Blair offered only acceptance. Plus a kiss that
    
         curled the toes of Middle America and made the cover of TV Guide.
    
         The following scene takes place after we meet this week's
    
         malfeasants, and Simon has already bellowed "somebody get me 
         Ellison!"]
                               Scene Three: The Loft
    
         [JIM and BLAIR are seated on the couch, watching the Jags game on
    
         television. BLAIR is stretched out between JIM's legs, as though
    
         they've been necking during the commercials.]
    
         BLAIR: Fifteen seconds.... c'mon, guys, c'mon.
    
         JIM: Traveling, clear as day, did you see that?
    
         BLAIR: Ten. Almost there.
    
         JIM: Should've fouled him out.
    
         BLAIR: With seven seconds left? Five. Four. Three. Two. One. 
         Yes!!
    
         JIM: [begins to count silently with BLAIR on "three," pleased] 
         That's the ball game.
    
         BLAIR: Two more till the playoffs. I'm not sure I can handle the
    
         stress.
    
         JIM: [playing with BLAIR's hair] Maybe I can think of something
    
         to help you with that.
    
         BLAIR: I keep telling you, you don't have to be coy with me. 
         Honest. [They kiss, ad lib. BLAIR becomes more serious.] Why 
         didn't you tell me before, Jim? About this.
    
         JIM: [diffident] Didn't want to mess up what we already had. 
         Didn't want you second-guessing everything. I was afraid you'd 
         feel obligated. I had to be sure 
    
         BLAIR: [interrupts] Obligated?
    
         JIM: There's so much between us already. I owe you my life 
    
         BLAIR: (quietly) Ditto, Jim, ditto.
    
         JIM: Yeah. But the minute I told you I was, well, pretty much 
    
         BLAIR: [With JIM, encouraging him] Gay.
    
         JIM: Yeah. Well, once I told you, it was out there.
    
         BLAIR: And you figured there'd be no way I could resist you, is
    
         that it?
    
         JIM: No. No way you would.
    
         BLAIR: [annoyed] What, like, "this is part of the program"? The
    
         Sentinel Package Deal? Come on, Jim.
    
         JIM: You wouldn't have backed away from it. [stares BLAIR down]
    
         You know I'm right.
    
         BLAIR: Maybe. [a beat] Yeah, Probably.
    
         JIM: The whole thing, it's just too, what? Cosmic? [He walks 
         toward the kitchen]
    
         BLAIR: What, good things don't happen to you? [Follows JIM] What
    
         right did you have to do that to yourself? To decide that for me.
    
         For us.
    
         JIM: I just needed to be sure. That you might really want this.
    
         Aren't you always saying that once it's out there you have to 
         deal with it? You had to make the first move, Blair. You had to.
    
         We couldn't go back from this once we started.
    
         BLAIR: Three years, Jim.
    
         JIM: My whole life, Chief. My whole goddamned life I've been 
         sitting on this one.
    
         BLAIR: What about Carolyn?
    
         JIM: [slowly] I think she knew. We made each other happy, for a
    
         while, but she knew. We never quite  connected.
    
         BLAIR: [chuckling] No wonder. I always thought she hated me. 
    
         JIM: You got under my skin from day one. I was never that close
    
         to her.
    
         BLAIR: Yeah. [shakes his head] God, Jim. I never knew, I swear.
    
         JIM: You couldn't have known. [looks away] I'd have sex with a 
         woman, and I'd think, "finally, I'm cured."
    
         BLAIR: [appalled] Jim! That's, like, an incredibly fifties
    
         example of homophobia you've got going there. McCarthy himself 
         didn't have issues like that.
    
         JIM: Save it, Freud.
    
         BLAIR: I'm serious, Jim. How could you hate yourself that much?
    
         JIM: Sandburg, you don't get it. I didn't know. I thought there
    
         was something wrong with me. Period. If someone had knocked me on
    
         the head and said, "Ellison, you're gay, deal with it," I
    
         would've had "issues," yeah, but.... I didn't really know. Didn't
    
         suspect it until some of the cases I worked in Vice. Didn't know
    
         for sure until Carolyn and I were on the rocks. And then you came
    
         along, like some kind of goddamn Christmas present. You and what,
    
         a hundred girlfriends? What was I supposed to do, Blair?
    
         BLAIR: No wonder. No wonder. I cannot believe I was this
    
         clueless. I feel like Lois Lane here. You weren't jealous of me
    
         at all.
    
         JIM: Jealous for you.
    
         BLAIR: All I ever had to do was pay attention.
    
         JIM: I tried to hide it from you. I'm good at that. And every 
         time I thought I might risk it, you'd be involved with someone.
    
         Or hell, I would. Remember Laura?
    
         BLAIR: Pheromone Girl? [They both laugh.] How could I forget? 
    
         JIM: She gave me a year's worth of setback. I started thinking,
    
         see, Ellison, you were wrong, the right woman's out there
         somewhere.
    
         BLAIR: [half-laughing, shaking his head] God, Jim.
    
         JIM: And all the time I was in love with you. [whispers, pulling
    
         BLAIR close] I was so in love with you.
    
         BLAIR: You kept shutting me out of this. Never shut me out. I'm
    
         part of you. Of what you are. Part of us.
    
         JIM: I know that now. I swear.
    
         BLAIR: I'm just so glad somebody said something. Some observer I
    
         am. I never would have guessed.
    
         JIM: You don't read minds, Chief. And you would have had to. 
    
         BLAIR: No, I should have known. Never been this fired up over a
    
         guy before. We have something between us that... fuels this. I 
         didn't get here by myself. I should've known.
    
         JIM: Maybe if you'd said you were interested in guys....?
    
         BLAIR: [mocking] Don't start that crap with me, Ellison.
    
         JIM: You. Why'd you hide it?
    
         BLAIR: Nothing to hide, man. I'm just it never occurred to me to
    
         actually, I don't know, "identify" as bisexual, or whatever. 
         Didn't need to get involved with all of that. I like women, you
    
         know?
    
         JIM: [dryly] I know.
    
         BLAIR: [embarrassed] Right. [starts again] It's only been a
    
         couple of years that women have actually liked me back. I mean,
    
         that way. I had one hell of an awkward phase. You wouldn't
    
         believe. I was really enjoying the wild life, for a while there.
    
         [grins]
    
         JIM: Then what?
    
         BLAIR: Then I figured out I wanted something more stable, I
         guess. Someone I could actually count on.
    
         JIM: [with BLAIR] Trust.
    
         BLAIR: I've always been like, guys, yeah, sure, whatever. In 
         general. You know, they're just guys. But you.... you, yes,
         definitely. You are, like, everything.
    
         JIM: [fiercely] Good. Because from now on, I am everything to 
         you, Romeo.
    
         BLAIR: [smiles] I'm not arguing with that. Not at all. This is 
         it, Jim. It just took us a while to know what we were looking at.
    
         [They kiss as the phone rings.]
    
         JIM and BLAIR: [together] That's Simon.
    
         JIM: [picking up cell phone] Ellison.
    
         BLAIR: [muttering as he goes over to the coat rack] Don't we ever
    
         get a day off?
                                    -end scene-
    
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